Anxiety is a bitch. It’s a rat. It’s poison.
Everyone feels different levels of anxiety. It could be exam stress, work stress, or something more personal.
But everyone experiences anxiety at different levels. Some people are quite easy going and can dismiss their anxious tendencies with a ‘be rate’ comment. I am not one of those people.
They say that OCD and anxiety latch theirselves on to the most important thing going on in your life. It’s for that reason that I worry a lot about my boyfriend and my job. They are two of my most important things. Not the only two, nevertheless.
The thing is, I feel like I would perform better in both of these areas if I i didn’t worry as much as I do. If I didn’t panic if I didn’t feel the wave of anxiety covering me everyday.
I’m trying to dismiss my anxiety. I mean this in a very flippant way of course: everyone experiences anxiety from time to time. But I just want it to go away. I want to live without worrying.
So right now, Laid on this Benidorm Beach – I am worried about lots of things.
What if I have let my friends down?
What if I have let my boyfriend down?
What if I have let my mum down?
Did I switch the iron off before I left the flat?
How do I get through a holiday in Benidorm without drink?
Adding to the last question, what will happen if I don’t?
Will work be ok in September? I’m hoping they won’t know about my depressive episodes but the doctors have said that they might possibly find out. But work is my livelihood. Work keeps me sane. I absolutely love my job.
There’s a lot going off in this jumble-sale brain of mine. And I wish could pass some stuff on to someone. But unfortunately I can’t, I still worry worry worry.
I hope and I pray that I will get to a stage where I don’t worry about this stuff.
If anyone has any tips, please get in touch. There’s only so much sertraline and propanolol can do…,
L x
Talking Heads 